Cheaters never prosper, unless you’re the Patriots.

November 5, 2007

Check out this link. Supposedly, the Colts PA crew was using a CD of crowd noise on the loudspeaker to amplify the sound levels while the Pats were on offense. In this clip, you can clearly hear the CD skip and the sound level drop dramatically after the CD is stopped.

A pathetically childish move by someone in the Colts organization. But before we jump to conclusions and before Skip Bayless strikes it down with spectacular posture, lets put this whole cheating thing in perspective.

Eric CrouchFirst, although the Beli-cheat thing is fun to use to get a rise out of raging, insecure Pats fans, it means about as much to the NFL as Eric Crouch. It was simply a matter of Belicheck’s love for antiestablishment. If it was such a deep, dark, super-secretive operation, the infamous camera man wouldn’t have been chillin’ on the sidelines decked out in Patriots gear, telling the cheerleaders he was the backup pooch-kicker. They just didn’t care.

And I’d venture to say that 90 to 95% of the league doesn’t give a damn about it, either. Commissioner Goodell didn’t even care about it. He cared much more about the negative press the NFL got because of Belicheck’s carelessness, which showed in the severity of the punishments; Belicheck received the maximum fine ($500,000), double what Goodell fined the Pats’ organization.

Belicheck doesn’t give a hoot about much of anything these days except patronizing his own loyal media and kicking everyone’s ass. So lets get over that whole deal.

Another thing. The fact that people are complaining about running up the score is sad. There’s a pretty simple way to resolve this. Stop them. And if you can’t stop them from scoring because their quarterback is cooler than Superman, then go after him. And if you can’t get to him because the o-line is tougher to crack than online banking, go after the receivers. And if you can’t catch the receivers because they’re gone faster than free pizza, then, well, complain about them running up the score. Complaining about that is the NFL equivalent of “taking my ball and going home.” Sore losers, if you know what I mean.

Back to the Colts garbage. Granted, it’s pretty silly. But can you honestly say that Dungy or anyone on the field had anything to do with it?

Lets picture it.

Tony Dungy, the most soft-spoken, humble coach in the game, plans a closed-door meeting after practice one day with the 23-year old radio intern named Billy who hands out Colts oven mitts before the game and works the CD player. Tony has an evil plan. As he rubs his hands together and smiles mischievously, he whispers, “Right after ‘Everybody Dance Now,’ by C & C Music Factory, cue this Crowd Noise CD that I made all by myself in between 6-hour video sessions.”


The Pats won last night, they were the better team. No harm. No foul. End of story.

We’ll see in a couple months if the outcome is any different when the Colts are completely healthy, the Pats are even better, and Peyton is throwing to Marvin Harrison in the red zone instead of Frying-Panthony Gonzalez.

Stay tuned for my unbiased take on how Osi and the Giants will whoop Romo and the Cowboys with little remorse.